Archive for February, 2010

The Human Centipede (The First Sequence): A-T-M at it’s finest!

February 24, 2010

Wow! Just when you thought your jaded, seen-it-all, movie-nerd eyeballs couldn’t possibly be shocked by anything new the world of film has to offer, a motion picture comes along that reaches into your skull and rips your mind a new asshole. It’s called THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (THE FIRST SEQUENCE) and I managed to talk a group of friends into braving a screening of it with me at the Cinefamily this last weekend. This is the notorious little horror film from Holland that won honors at both the FrightFest in London and ScreamFest in L.A.,  just last year. The movie has quite a reputation due to its unusual premise, which concerns a crazed German doctor sewing two hot American girls and a Japanese man together, ass-to-mouth. That’s right, ass-to-mouth.

The film starts out like a typical horror film. Two attractive American girls (ASHLYNN YENNIE and ASHLEY C. WILLIAMS) vacationing in Europe, stumble across a secluded home in the woods, when their car gets a flat tire. Unfortunately for them, the home belongs to the insane Dr. Heiter (DIETER LASER), who is in the process of recovering from the loss of his beloved three-hound (a previous creation). The girls are perfect candidates for his next experiment and before long, they are drugged and sewn together, ass-to-mouth, with an abducted Japanese man (AKIRO KITAMURA), so that they become a human centipede.  Yep, that’s what it’s about.

That's what a human centipede looks like, folks.

I expected to be completely disgusted and repulsed by this film, and I was. There was a nervous expectation from everyone in my group before the movie started. My friend Josh bought a bucket of popcorn just so he’d have “something to vomit in later,” but we were all surprised by just how funny HUMAN CENTIPEDE is. TOM SIX has written and directed a movie that is as hilarious, as it is gross. That’s quite an accomplishment. I laughed and groaned till my ribs ached.

The film is in English, German and Japanese and features a great cast that really put a lot of hard work into making it. DIETER LASER deserves to win an Oscar for his amazing performance as the mad scientist. The joy he displays from completing his vision is both heart warming and horrifying, all at once. The audience rooted for him to accomplish his crazy ass-to-mouth dream throughout the screening. AKIRO KITAMURA, ASHLYNN YENNIE and ASHLEY C. WILLIAMS that make up the human centipede are all very talented actors, as well as being incredibly good sports. It’s the total overall commitment to this ridiculously nauseating concept that makes THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE the success it is. In an era of remakes and sequels, you can’t say it isn’t original. I have never seen anything like it before and I’ve seen some really crazy shit.

Also, in order to be as realistic as possible, an experienced physician was consulted during the conceptualization of THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (THE FIRST SEQUENCE) and the ass-to-mouth surgery is 100% medically accurate!

After the screening, ASHLYNN YENNIE (Jenny) came up and thanked the audience for being such a great crowd and understanding that it’s a comedy, by laughing at all the right things. She also told us that TOM SIX is currently gearing up for the follow-up, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (THE FULL SEQUENCE). Yikes! She said that it’s gonna make THE FIRST SEQUENCE look like MY LITTLE PONY. Christ on a cracker!


According to IMDB, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (THE FULL SEQUENCE) is currently in pre-production and it’s the second part of an intended double feature from TOM SIX, whom I imagine to be some crazed European genius not unlike Dr.Heiter himself.

It’s been picked up by IFC Films for distribution and I hope it becomes what it deserves to be, a midnight movie cult hit. It’s disgusting, but very entertaining and made for an audience that wants to see something totally brain roasting. Is America ready for an ass-to-mouth horror film? I think so. Nerd out!

This was Josh's reaction to THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE.

The first 1 and a half months of 2010 movie review roundup! YEE-HAH!

February 17, 2010

The first one and a half months of this year have contained a lot of nerdy new releases that I’ve seen and I wanted to give my thoughts on them. So there.

SHERLOCK HOLMES -I know this came out on Christmas, but I didn’t see it until after the new year.

A very exciting love story about a closeted gay couple, trying to solve an incredible mystery!

Seriously, a big part of this movie’s charm was the odd “tension” between DOWNEY JR., and LAW. I think GUY RITCHIE and gang were having a lot of fun with that notion and at points, it becomes the tail that wags the dog. It’s a little more cheeky than your usual interpretation of the famous detective, but a fun one nonetheless.

In a future sequel, I’d like to see the couple come “out” and maybe even tackle the issue of Holme’s much written about, cocaine dependency. Now THAT would be interesting!

There have been so many movies about the apocalypse lately, but who saw one about the end of days for all VAMPIRES coming? Not me.

In the future, the majority of the world’s population is made up of vampires. They’re pretty much exactly like humans, except they drink their espressos with blood instead of cream. Unfortunately, when the supply of red stuff starts running out, things really begin to “suck”.

Very cool new morphing of both genres from the SPIERIG BROTHERS that felt a little like an old CARPENTER movie at times. Awesome WILLEM DAFOE performance too.


The new post-apocalypse western/samurai film from the very talented HUGHES BROTHERS, was the graphic novel styled equivalent of last year’s superior, THE ROAD. Entertaining and well acted, but not nearly as moving, emotionally.

DENZEL WASHINGTON is the lone warrior and keeper of the only existing copy of the Bible. It’s his mission to keep it out of the wrong hands and he’s willing to chop off a few to prove it.


Just when you thought you had seen enough END OF THE WORLD movies for one month, here comes a movie about God saying “FUCK IT!” and declaring war on the entire human race, by sending an army of angels to kill us all! Jesus!

This could have been really great, but it isn’t. An unmarried, pregnant, chain smoking, white trash waitress has humanity’s last chance inside her belly. Trapped inside a diner in the desert, it’s up to a rouge angel, armed with a lot of guns, to save her and the rest of humanity.

Like a cross between THE TERMINATOR and DEMON KNIGHT, only not nearly as exciting as either. More like a graphic novel version of DOGMA. Save us!


I do not ski. The few times that I’ve gone, I did not enjoy it very much. It always seemed really dangerous and that there was a strong possibility of something disastrous happening at all times. I always felt better when I was inside somewhere, safe and warm. This movie will not bring me back to the slopes anytime soon.

FROZEN is the worst all-time ski trip ever! It’s about two guys and a girl, stuck on a ski lift. That doesn’t sound like a very exciting premise, but the movie is amazingly suspenseful. ADAM (HATCHET) GREEN keeps the horror building and building and gets a lot of mileage out of one simple, primary location. The perfect winter horror film. Very cool!


Development issues, a director change and a pushed back release date made me skeptical about this new adaptation, but I really enjoyed it a lot.

JOE JOHNSTON does a nice job of creating an old fashioned style monster movie, that’s in the great Universal tradition, while adding copious amounts of blood and gore along the way! The transformation sequences, as well as the overall look of the werewolf, were a great blending of old school prosthetics and modern CGI. Bark at the moon!

That’s it, so far. I still have a few more to catch up on. This weekend I’ll be seeing the long awaited SHUTTER ISLAND, along with HUMAN CENTIPEDE (which I missed at last year’s SCREAMFEST) at the Cinefamily. Should be an interesting contrast in horror. Nerd out!

BAD BIOLOGY @ The Cinefamily

February 11, 2010

I’ve been a very busy nerd lately and have been neglecting my blogging duties as of late. Between the holidays and a new low budget horror film that I’ve been working crew on, I’ve had a hard time keeping up with events. This past weekend I finally managed to crawl out of my bunker and make my way to the Cinefamily for an evening of mondo-movie madness!

I’ve always had a perverse crush on the sleazy little horror films made by MR. FRANK HENENLOTTER. BASKET CASE 1, 2, 3, FRANKENHOOKER and BRAIN DAMAGE are among some of my favorite all-time midnight horror flicks. His combination of social satire, sexual discovery and gooey lo-fi prosthetic monsters, all filmed with the backdrop of some of the seediest locations that New York City has to offer, has always made me regard him as a cross between DAVID CRONENBERG and a porn peddler.

It’s been about 15 years since he’s directed a film, but the exploitation cinema equivalent to TERENCE MALICK has come out of retirement with a new movie to melt your brains with. It’s called BAD BIOLOGY and I was lucky to catch a viewing with none other than HENENLOTTER himself in the house! Check out the trailer…

BAD BIOLOGY is in every way, shape and form a HENENLOTTER film. Its plot centers around a guy named Batz (ANTHONY SNEED) who’s having a hard time finding enough drugs to keep his giant mutant penis at bay. He meets up with a girl named Jennifer (CHARLEE DANIELSON) who has 7 clits and usually ends up killing her lovers during sex. Afterwards, she gives birth to a screaming mutant fetus, which she promptly throws in the nearest dumpster. Will these two sexual freaks get together and finally find happiness? Of course not, it’s a HENENLOTTER film!

I laughed and gagged my way through this movie at every turn. The plot is insane. The acting ranges from decent to amateur. The special effects are cheesy and totally old school prosthetics, including an amazing sequence that involves the detached mutant penis literally hammering its way through floorboard after floorboard of an apartment building, in an all night raping spree!

There’s also a lot of great humor that comes from a strange sort of hip-hop vibe that permeates the movie. There are several cameos from white rappers like JZONE and REMEDY and the co-writer and producer is a rap guy named R.A. (The Rugged Man) THORBURN. Also, PRINCE PAUL (from De La Soul) does the score.

There is a scene where the main guy eavesdrops on a table of teenagers talking about sex in a fast food place. The writing and performances are so brilliantly funny and the humor is soooooo inappropriate, I immediately recognized it as pure genius. This is one fucked up, funny and clever little love/monster story.

This scene KILLED me! The acting and the writing is GENIUS!

After the film, there was a great Q and A with FRANK HENENLOTTER, R.A. THORBURN, and star ANTHONY SNEED. They talked about how they shot the film without permits, all over New York and Brooklyn. HENENLOTTER said he came up with the story one day when he was reading about a bunch of fetuses that had been turning up in the trash around N.Y. He decided to write a movie about a single woman who’s responsible for all of them, because she has a mutant vagina. Interesting insight into a creative mind.

FRANK HENENLOTTER - the TERENCE MALICK of sleazy prosthetic monster horror.

R.A THORBURN, FRANK HENENLOTTER and ANTHONY SNEED try to explain themselves after the screening.

If you love FRANK HENENLOTTER, his films, or skull peeling cinema in general, then find BAD BIOLOGY and watch it at once. Preferably drunk with friends. It’s available on DVD from MEDIA BLASTERS and well worth a look. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen a POV shot from inside a mutant vagina! Nerd out!