The Drive-In Movie Culture Report: #1. Laserblast (1978)

I’m gonna do a column about old exploitation films that you can check out and “re-discover” if you like. This is the first one.

laserblast

What do you get when you cross a “revenge” film with a STAR WARS/CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND rip-off? LASERBLAST!! This 1978 sci-fi chestnut is from super-low budget mega-producer Charles Band, the man responsible for TOURIST TRAP, PARASITE 3-D (featuring Demi Moore in one of her first roles), METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED SYN 3-D, GHOULIES I AND II, TRANCERS, TROLL, ELIMINATORS, FROM BEYOND, DOLLS, SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA, PUPPETMASTER, ROBOT JOX and many, many more.

LASERBLAST is the story of a young fellow named Billy (Kim Milford who played the bad guy in CORVETTE SUMMER with Mark Hamil), who gets pushed around a lot. His neglectful and super-hot M.I.L.F. of a mommy is always jetting off to Acapulco because, “They keep inviting me, so I’m gonna keep going” and his girlfriend just doesn’t get him at all. He can’t ride his van down the road without being harrased by the local weed smoking Police Deputies and he’s also being terrorized by the psychotic jock Chuck and his toadie Froggy (whom is played by nerd God Eddie Deezen in a rare turn as a BULLY)!

Then one day Billy goes out to the desert and discovers a laser rifle and pendant that were left behind by a reptilian alien criminal that was vaporized by two stop motion animated aliens, who’ve pursued him in their spaceship. A plane frightened them off before they could ¬†retrieve the gun and necklace and now Billy has the power. But it’s transforming him into a vicious alien killer, like the one from before. One by one he gets back at the people who’ve done him wrong by blowing the living shit out of them with his laser gun!

LASERBLAST is a cheap-o flick that absolutely oozes the 70’s. From the crudest (yet really cool) special effects to the corny dialogue and cheesy acting, this is by no means a great film. But, it has a story (not unlike Stephen King’s CHRISTINE) that is very easy to hook into. THIS would be a cool idea for a remake! It not being very well known and with a vast array of ways to improve upon on it, I think it could be cool in the right hands. Check it out with a group of friends or watch it late at night, when you’ve returned from a evening of frivolous debauchery. It’ll cheer you up.

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